Saturday, January 21, 2006
A McGee mood
I am in a Travis McGee mood.
When I was younger, I was introduced to the writing of an author that would most likely shape my view of the world for the rest of my life. Unlike others who found Kafka, Freud, Sartre, or others of that ilk, I found a better and more prolific author.
In a tent in the mountains of Virginia while working at a wilderness school for delinquent and dependent teens, I was looking for something to pass the time. I found a book called something along the the lines of "Shades of Travis McGee." I began to read the first story in the volume.
The story was about a guy from Florida who spent his time getting things back for people who had them taken by less than scrupulous means. It was a way to pass the time in the woods of VA.
I was hooked.
The thing that hooked me was that Travis would do what was right, no matter how untasteful, even when he didn't want to do it. He tried as best as he could to do it within his code of conduct, which was often just to do what was less harmful to the innocent, as he went outside the words of the law to do what he needed to.
The catch was that by doing this he would often tarnish the shining armour that he always pictured himself in. And he knew this. He often commented on Don Quixote and his dented, tarnished armour tilting at windmills.
Tonight, I sit here, listening to much of the internal dialog that I read in those books many years ago (and on several occasions since). I tell myself about how I do my damnedest to make the world abetter place becuase it can be one. I tell myself that the work that I do is making that happen. I say that if I can just make a difference here or ther, it will change the cosmic balance enough to shift it from Chaos to Order.
And I know I'm full of it.
I think that it is this knowledge that drives a lot of people out this job. They get discouraged about it and say the heck with it. That isn't hard to do when you can make a lot more money with a lot less headaches in a lot of other fields. In this one the hours are often long-and at odd ones- and hard hours. The pay isn't great by any stretch of the imagination. Heck, I'm supposed to be the smartest one in the family and making less than any one else. I still tell young interns to become engineers while they still have the chance.
McGee said he did it because the people that need it don't know how to do it. He was right. I doubt that I will ever get rich at this job. That's why at present I have at least two other part-time gigs going- so I can pick up occasional cash.
But the people I serve need somebody like me to do the work. Just like's McGee's clients. I won't retrieve thousands of dollars in gems or antique statues or a Florida hotel, but I may be able to retrieve something else.
A Life. Hope. Respect. A childhood. A future.
Having the hope that I can pull that off is enough to get my lazy ass out of bed tomorrow and put on my rusty, dented armour and see what windmills there are to tilt at.
C'mon, Sancho, there be dragons out there. And Dolcinea awaits us.
When I was younger, I was introduced to the writing of an author that would most likely shape my view of the world for the rest of my life. Unlike others who found Kafka, Freud, Sartre, or others of that ilk, I found a better and more prolific author.
In a tent in the mountains of Virginia while working at a wilderness school for delinquent and dependent teens, I was looking for something to pass the time. I found a book called something along the the lines of "Shades of Travis McGee." I began to read the first story in the volume.
The story was about a guy from Florida who spent his time getting things back for people who had them taken by less than scrupulous means. It was a way to pass the time in the woods of VA.
I was hooked.
The thing that hooked me was that Travis would do what was right, no matter how untasteful, even when he didn't want to do it. He tried as best as he could to do it within his code of conduct, which was often just to do what was less harmful to the innocent, as he went outside the words of the law to do what he needed to.
The catch was that by doing this he would often tarnish the shining armour that he always pictured himself in. And he knew this. He often commented on Don Quixote and his dented, tarnished armour tilting at windmills.
Tonight, I sit here, listening to much of the internal dialog that I read in those books many years ago (and on several occasions since). I tell myself about how I do my damnedest to make the world abetter place becuase it can be one. I tell myself that the work that I do is making that happen. I say that if I can just make a difference here or ther, it will change the cosmic balance enough to shift it from Chaos to Order.
And I know I'm full of it.
I think that it is this knowledge that drives a lot of people out this job. They get discouraged about it and say the heck with it. That isn't hard to do when you can make a lot more money with a lot less headaches in a lot of other fields. In this one the hours are often long-and at odd ones- and hard hours. The pay isn't great by any stretch of the imagination. Heck, I'm supposed to be the smartest one in the family and making less than any one else. I still tell young interns to become engineers while they still have the chance.
McGee said he did it because the people that need it don't know how to do it. He was right. I doubt that I will ever get rich at this job. That's why at present I have at least two other part-time gigs going- so I can pick up occasional cash.
But the people I serve need somebody like me to do the work. Just like's McGee's clients. I won't retrieve thousands of dollars in gems or antique statues or a Florida hotel, but I may be able to retrieve something else.
A Life. Hope. Respect. A childhood. A future.
Having the hope that I can pull that off is enough to get my lazy ass out of bed tomorrow and put on my rusty, dented armour and see what windmills there are to tilt at.
C'mon, Sancho, there be dragons out there. And Dolcinea awaits us.
