Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Life would be more easy if...
Working on my assignments today, I hit what may be one of the hardest writer's block that I ever have. The assignment was to talk about a loss that you have gone through and discuss how you addressed each of the stages.
Stage one: Denial. Okay this is easy. I can deny most anything if needed. Heck, I can even deny that I have to do what I'm already doing by saying I don't have to, I'm just doing because I choose to.
Stage two: Anger. I rarely get angry. I was told many years ago that I only have so many "angry's" in my life so that when I start getting there, I stop. I ask myself if this is the last "Angry" that I have, and I die after I use it, is it worth it? In 99% of the cases I asked this the answer is "NO!"
Stage three:Bargaining. I like this stage. I'm still wondering "what if..." about all kinds of things. I also know that God knows better than I do and that even if I had the silver tongue of Johnnie Cochran mixed with the communication skills of Ronald Reagan and the advertising ability of Nike, I probably won't be able to convince the Big Guy that I know better than he does.
Stage four: Depression. This stage to me is kind of like stage two. Frustration or powerlessness turned outward is anger. Powerlessness turned inward is depression. It is foolish to say "If only..." Because one may have never done it otherwise. To assume thatone had the ability to change things is hubris. One of the most important lessons I have learned in life is how little my opinion matters to the cosmos.
Stage five: Acceptance. I do not accept death. I do not accept a no-win situation. My father has been gone for a quarter of a century, but I am still not okay with that. I believe that when the world is perfect, there will not be pain and suffering. I am not going to accept otherwise in the meantime. I believe that there will be a day (God willing) that I will see my dad again and be able to say the things that I should hav back in the 1970s. That I was too young and foolish then will not be held against me.
I do not accept an end to things.
Where there is life, there is hope.
I may recognize there there is an infinitely small probability. That does not mean that I have to give up.
That's why I buy PowerBall tickets.
Stage one: Denial. Okay this is easy. I can deny most anything if needed. Heck, I can even deny that I have to do what I'm already doing by saying I don't have to, I'm just doing because I choose to.
Stage two: Anger. I rarely get angry. I was told many years ago that I only have so many "angry's" in my life so that when I start getting there, I stop. I ask myself if this is the last "Angry" that I have, and I die after I use it, is it worth it? In 99% of the cases I asked this the answer is "NO!"
Stage three:Bargaining. I like this stage. I'm still wondering "what if..." about all kinds of things. I also know that God knows better than I do and that even if I had the silver tongue of Johnnie Cochran mixed with the communication skills of Ronald Reagan and the advertising ability of Nike, I probably won't be able to convince the Big Guy that I know better than he does.
Stage four: Depression. This stage to me is kind of like stage two. Frustration or powerlessness turned outward is anger. Powerlessness turned inward is depression. It is foolish to say "If only..." Because one may have never done it otherwise. To assume thatone had the ability to change things is hubris. One of the most important lessons I have learned in life is how little my opinion matters to the cosmos.
Stage five: Acceptance. I do not accept death. I do not accept a no-win situation. My father has been gone for a quarter of a century, but I am still not okay with that. I believe that when the world is perfect, there will not be pain and suffering. I am not going to accept otherwise in the meantime. I believe that there will be a day (God willing) that I will see my dad again and be able to say the things that I should hav back in the 1970s. That I was too young and foolish then will not be held against me.
I do not accept an end to things.
Where there is life, there is hope.
I may recognize there there is an infinitely small probability. That does not mean that I have to give up.
That's why I buy PowerBall tickets.
